Welcome to the Website!

Howdy Patches Pals!

It's time for a special announcement!

This site is under NEW MANAGEMENT!

A huge THANK YOU to everyone one who contributed to the "Save the J.P. Patches Website" GoFundMe campaign! Thanks to your contributions we can continue to have this space to remember Seattle's favorite clown!

Watch for some exciting new changes in this space coming sometime in the summer of 2015! (or fall... or whenever I get around to it!)

In the meantime, I also want to give a big Patches Pal THANK YOU to the previous webmeister, Bob Alexander, who has done a bang-up job designing and maintaining this website for the past 10 years! Kudos to you, sir! Pat on the back and all that jazz!

I solemly vow to uphold the duties of webmeister and keep alive the memory of J.P Patches to the best of my abilities. Yada, yada, yada...

Curt Hanks
Succeeding Webmeister
Patches Pal since 1968


And now






Brand new from Archie McPhee! Now you can take J.P. wherever you go with this 4-1/2" tall air freshener! We initially wanted to make it smell like Farmer Fred's Fresh Frple Fodder from Fife, but as it turns out, Frple Fodder doesn't actually smell very good, so we made it smell like cotton candy instead. String for hanging included.


$3.50 (plus shipping)


More items coming soon! Stay tuned...


Before you get started there a few things you need to know ... There are audio and video clips all over the place.

When you see the "Chief Moon Ray" TV test pattern on the ICU2-TV, click start. Then you'll be shocked, stunned, and amazed at how we crammed all that video down to your monitor.

Give it a test. Click Start and watch J.P. "change" the weather report.

Click the   to listen to the audio clips (which includes recent commentary by Chris Wedes and Bob Newman). This one features Esmerelda.

Start | Stop

So take a peek at the Navigation Poster up on the left over there and start clicking on stuff!

Just don't press the "Burst Into Flames" button. It's the one right next to the "Any Key."

Hey Patches Pals ... Click "Start" on the ICU2-TV to see a classic Flicks commercial starring Chris Wedes as Flick-Man!

Flicks, the  candy of the J.P. Patches website, has an interesting history. Find out more Fabulous Fun Filled Flick-Facts by clicking here.

Start | Stop

You might see this billboard if you're driving off I-5 near Sumner.

"Who, when he saw the first sand or ashes, by a casual intenseness of heat, melted into a metalline form, rugged with excrescences, and clouded with impurities, would have imagined, that in this shapeless mass would turn into smething useful like a glass? Neat huh? I mean without glasses we couldn't see or have anything to put Kool-Aid in!

You can send us an email by clicking Here

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