J.P. Patches!

"All the news that fits the print" Established MCMLVIII

Table of Contents

Home
Patches Pals News
The Amazing History of J.P. Patches
The Show
Photo of the week
J.P.'s Appearances
Links
The City Dump Store

Publisher - Editor - Mayor
Julius Pierpont Patches

The City Dump Gazette is published either weekly, semi-annually, bi-monthly, or possibly during any seasonal equinox.

Hey Patches Pals

Do you have any pictures of yourself taken with J.P.? Do you have a scanner? Digital camera?
Would you like to see your photo with J.P. used on the "Photo of The Week" page?
Well okay then ... Just send your scanned photos(s) or digital pix by clicking HERE to email your kindly WebMeister.

Gertrude Online!

You can send your love directly to Gertrude at fabbn@yahoo.com.
Gertrude will also handle email for Ketchikan the Animal Man, Boris S. Wort, Ggoorrsstt and even The Fabulous Bob Newman.
If you click here you can actually go to The Bongo Congo Kennel!

Have a Party with J.P.!

As some of you know, J.P. will do appearances for private parties (and if you want to shock and delight a 40 year old patches pal, have J.P. drop by their birthday party ... it'll make them feel a lot younger!!) For price and availability, email J.P. directly at JPPatches@JPPatches.com and make sure you include your phone number!

PSSSSST!

Hey Patches Pals … Over Here …

Well ... It was bound to happen. J.P. and Gertrude were practicing an awe-inspiring Pas de deux when an ill-placed banana peel brought their terpsichorean ambitions to an untimely end. J.P. sustained a particularly painful hangnail and Gertrude broke her … his … hip.

You can email your Good Wishes to Gertrude/Bob Newman by clicking here.

There's always next year.

Chris ... er ... J.P. was featured on KING-TV's Evening Magazine on March 16, 2006.

Click on your connection speed to watch.

Dial-Up | Broadband | Stop

You can meet the man, chat, get his autograph and maybe borrow some money!

2010
January
January 10	Retirement Party	*	*
February
February 27	Third Annual Chocolate on the Beach Festival	Pacific Beach, Moclips & Seabrook Washington J.P. Patches will be on hand at the Pacific Beach Elementary School gymnasium, acting as a guest judge for the chocolate baking entries. It's a tough job but somebody has to do it. For more information call: 360-276-0009	*
March
March 20	Private Birthday	*	*

"Who, when he saw the first sand or ashes, by a casual intenseness of heat, melted into a metalline form, rugged with excrescences, and clouded with impurities, would have imagined, that in this shapeless mass would turn into smething useful like a glass? Neat huh? I mean without glasses we couldn't see or have anything to put Kool-Aid in!